Guidebook for Portland
Essentials
A great place to buy beer, wine, socks, undershirts, and dragon lamps. Seriously, this place has it all. Porn? Ice cream? Knives? They got it. Just bring cash, they charge $.50 per card transaction.
7831-7839 NE Glisan St
7831-7839 Northeast Glisan StreetA great place to buy beer, wine, socks, undershirts, and dragon lamps. Seriously, this place has it all. Porn? Ice cream? Knives? They got it. Just bring cash, they charge $.50 per card transaction.
Fred Meyer was a guy who invented grocery stores. Maybe. Look it up. Anyway, it has groceries and household stuff. Do you need household stuff? Are you putting it in your luggage? What is your deal?
30 personas locales recomiendan
Fred Meyer Pharmacy
7404 N Interstate AveFred Meyer was a guy who invented grocery stores. Maybe. Look it up. Anyway, it has groceries and household stuff. Do you need household stuff? Are you putting it in your luggage? What is your deal?
Safeway is like Fred Meyer's weird cousin. Sure, he'll get what you need, but maybe he got it from some sketchy guy in an alleyway. It works, but it smells funny. Safeway's name would be Tad, I think.
Safeway
101 Southeast 82nd AvenueSafeway is like Fred Meyer's weird cousin. Sure, he'll get what you need, but maybe he got it from some sketchy guy in an alleyway. It works, but it smells funny. Safeway's name would be Tad, I think.
Food Scene
Finally, a fast food joint with sustainable practices! Their burgers are delicious and they compost their waste. What are you, a hippie? Go here!
75 personas locales recomiendan
Burgerville
1135 NE Martin Luther King Jr BlvdFinally, a fast food joint with sustainable practices! Their burgers are delicious and they compost their waste. What are you, a hippie? Go here!
Hey, are you poor? Of course you are, you're using airbnb. Come by the Wendy's and enjoy some cheap-ass delicacies. You know what Wendy's serves. Don't deny it.
Wendy's
3400 Portland RdHey, are you poor? Of course you are, you're using airbnb. Come by the Wendy's and enjoy some cheap-ass delicacies. You know what Wendy's serves. Don't deny it.
Hey, this place is pretty good, but it's always empty. Don't know how it stays in business. Authentic Vietnamese cuisine (I said food, my girlfriend insisted I say "cuisine." Like we're fancy pants).
11 personas locales recomiendan
Hanoi Kitchen
7925 NE Glisan StHey, this place is pretty good, but it's always empty. Don't know how it stays in business. Authentic Vietnamese cuisine (I said food, my girlfriend insisted I say "cuisine." Like we're fancy pants).
Hey, do you like bars? Do you like sketchy birthday parties advertised in sidewalk chalk? Then the People's Grill is for you. Cheap eats, weird customers, and catfish. Just like your family reunion.
7901 NE Glisan St
7901 Northeast Glisan StreetHey, do you like bars? Do you like sketchy birthday parties advertised in sidewalk chalk? Then the People's Grill is for you. Cheap eats, weird customers, and catfish. Just like your family reunion.
El Dorado is great. Good cheap food and huge margaritas. What more could you ask for? A mariachi band? Well they don't have one of those. I'm sure you could create one though. It's Portland!
Eldorado Mexican Grill Cantina
8001 Northeast Glisan StreetEl Dorado is great. Good cheap food and huge margaritas. What more could you ask for? A mariachi band? Well they don't have one of those. I'm sure you could create one though. It's Portland!
Environmentally friendly Domino's, with solar panels and cheap, disgusting pizza! What more can I say. If you need your pizza powered by the sun ... well, you still shouldn't go here.
Domino's Pizza
6922 NE Glisan StEnvironmentally friendly Domino's, with solar panels and cheap, disgusting pizza! What more can I say. If you need your pizza powered by the sun ... well, you still shouldn't go here.
Delicious Cuban food! They even have dessert Cuban cigars. They're not real Cuban cigars, don't worry. It's not like they stuff cigars with cream cheese or something. That would be weird.
166 personas locales recomiendan
Pambiche
2811 NE Glisan StDelicious Cuban food! They even have dessert Cuban cigars. They're not real Cuban cigars, don't worry. It's not like they stuff cigars with cream cheese or something. That would be weird.
This is a coffee place like most Portland coffee places, in that it has beer. But it's independently run and is really great, and it has a decent food menu, so put down that Starbucks!
Heidi Schopen, Licensed Massage Therapist
This is a coffee place like most Portland coffee places, in that it has beer. But it's independently run and is really great, and it has a decent food menu, so put down that Starbucks!
This is the kitchen to the Hour Glass. They made it separate because they are GENIUSES. People come from all across town to eat their fried chicken, so you owe it to yourself to partake of the flesh.
Chicken Little
7401 NE Glisan StThis is the kitchen to the Hour Glass. They made it separate because they are GENIUSES. People come from all across town to eat their fried chicken, so you owe it to yourself to partake of the flesh.
This coffee place has art and Stumptown coffee and maybe you'll spot some hipsters! Authentic Portland hipsters, with their fixed-gear bikes and general awful scent. But their coffee is great!
56 personas locales recomiendan
Seven Virtues Coffee Roasters on Glisan
5936 NE Glisan StThis coffee place has art and Stumptown coffee and maybe you'll spot some hipsters! Authentic Portland hipsters, with their fixed-gear bikes and general awful scent. But their coffee is great!
Cheap pizza! Not served in a UFO or anything though. These guys are just straight up good. Do yourself a favor and grab a slice before you leave.
18 personas locales recomiendan
UFO Pizza
6024 NE Glisan StCheap pizza! Not served in a UFO or anything though. These guys are just straight up good. Do yourself a favor and grab a slice before you leave.
We've never been in here, because it looks sketchy as hell, but hey, maybe you're one of those "I have to try the sketchiest looking Chinese food" kind of person. If so, $4.95 breakfast, baby.
Candlelight Restaurant and Lounge
7334 NE Glisan StWe've never been in here, because it looks sketchy as hell, but hey, maybe you're one of those "I have to try the sketchiest looking Chinese food" kind of person. If so, $4.95 breakfast, baby.
I'm at the Pizza Hut, I'm at the Taco Bell, I'm at the commmmbination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. (Note: There is no Taco Bell here.)
8 personas locales recomiendan
Pizza Hut
10355 NE Halsey StI'm at the Pizza Hut, I'm at the Taco Bell, I'm at the commmmbination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. (Note: There is no Taco Bell here.)
Another Chinese restaurant! I've never been inside, but there are lots of Chinese people who eat there, so it must be good!
Golden Star Restaurant
Another Chinese restaurant! I've never been inside, but there are lots of Chinese people who eat there, so it must be good!
This pizza is good and they supply pizza to the Academy Theater. That's really all I know about it. It's pizza, man, what else do you want? A golden fork? Come on, be reasonable.
69 personas locales recomiendan
Flying Pie Pizzeria
5300 N Lombard StThis pizza is good and they supply pizza to the Academy Theater. That's really all I know about it. It's pizza, man, what else do you want? A golden fork? Come on, be reasonable.
One of the fancy restaurants on Stark. A good place for a date, if you have money. If you *do* have money, hey, want to take me to the Observatory? Your treat.
171 personas locales recomiendan
The Observatory
8115 SE Stark StOne of the fancy restaurants on Stark. A good place for a date, if you have money. If you *do* have money, hey, want to take me to the Observatory? Your treat.
Another expensive restaurant on Stark. At least they use local ingredients for their food. Also, despite being called the "Country Cat," none of their waitresses look like they're 50 and smoking.
117 personas locales recomiendan
The Country Cat Dinner House and Bar
7937 SE Stark StAnother expensive restaurant on Stark. At least they use local ingredients for their food. Also, despite being called the "Country Cat," none of their waitresses look like they're 50 and smoking.
Ya Hala is affordable! But they really hate it when you walk in and shout "Ya Hollaaaa!" and throw your hands around in fake gang symbols. Either way, they have delicious food and hummus.
60 personas locales recomiendan
Ya Hala Lebanese Cuisine
8005 SE Stark StYa Hala is affordable! But they really hate it when you walk in and shout "Ya Hollaaaa!" and throw your hands around in fake gang symbols. Either way, they have delicious food and hummus.
Foti's is the best Greek deli in town. Period. Plus they have a cookbook! You can make your own Greek food! The place has been there for thirty years. They also have cheap burgers! The best.
8 personas locales recomiendan
Mad Greek Deli
1740 E Burnside StFoti's is the best Greek deli in town. Period. Plus they have a cookbook! You can make your own Greek food! The place has been there for thirty years. They also have cheap burgers! The best.
A delicious burger place! They make their own pickles! What else do I need to tell you?
5339 SE Foster Rd
5339 Southeast Foster RoadA delicious burger place! They make their own pickles! What else do I need to tell you?
Super King is the best place to eat until you want to die. They have decent buffet items and a friendly staff, but you will eat too much, and you will die. We've died at least three times there.
Super King Buffet
5015 SE 82nd AveSuper King is the best place to eat until you want to die. They have decent buffet items and a friendly staff, but you will eat too much, and you will die. We've died at least three times there.
Three things: 1. Tin foil. Get your food to go. 2. Oyster shooters. 3. Delicious mac and cheese. Plus you get to investigate the industrial side east of the river! Woo yeah!
59 personas locales recomiendan
Le Bistro Montage
301 SE Morrison StThree things: 1. Tin foil. Get your food to go. 2. Oyster shooters. 3. Delicious mac and cheese. Plus you get to investigate the industrial side east of the river! Woo yeah!
Hand made pies! Stumptown coffee! Bloody marys and Irish coffee and other things! And delicious food as well. Also have local artwork on the wall. Great atmosphere, near the Alberta Arts district too.
1800-1808 NE Alberta St
1800-1808 Northeast Alberta StreetHand made pies! Stumptown coffee! Bloody marys and Irish coffee and other things! And delicious food as well. Also have local artwork on the wall. Great atmosphere, near the Alberta Arts district too.
It's off the beaten path, but it's got a cozy atmosphere and is close to all the fun parts of St Johns. Plus it has a Phish lyric on the wall or something. I don't know, my girlfriend listens to them.
15 personas locales recomiendan
Anna Bannanas St Johns
It's off the beaten path, but it's got a cozy atmosphere and is close to all the fun parts of St Johns. Plus it has a Phish lyric on the wall or something. I don't know, my girlfriend listens to them.
Shopping
There's yarn in them thar hills! And cheap vintage fabric, vintage beads, even a vintage old woman to sell it to you. Also she is afraid of credit cards. As are all people over the age of fifty.
Kraft Kitty
7530 NE Glisan StThere's yarn in them thar hills! And cheap vintage fabric, vintage beads, even a vintage old woman to sell it to you. Also she is afraid of credit cards. As are all people over the age of fifty.
Raw local honey, at a fair Scottish price. Or Irish. We can't place the accent. Papa (not his real name, just what we call him, not to his face) also builds his own pine cabinets and bookcases!
Bargain Tree Inc
Raw local honey, at a fair Scottish price. Or Irish. We can't place the accent. Papa (not his real name, just what we call him, not to his face) also builds his own pine cabinets and bookcases!
This place is creep factor five. If it was a hurricane, it would be Hurricane Oh No, What Have I Done. Go in only if you are desperate to disguise yourself from Mexican drug lords.
Helen's Pacific Costumers
7501 Northeast Glisan StreetThis place is creep factor five. If it was a hurricane, it would be Hurricane Oh No, What Have I Done. Go in only if you are desperate to disguise yourself from Mexican drug lords.
Are you a werewolf? Well this is the place for you. They have raw cat and dog food to satisfy your lycanthropic needs. They also have Portland-made toys and other various things for your pets!
Meat for Cats and Dogs
2244 E Burnside StAre you a werewolf? Well this is the place for you. They have raw cat and dog food to satisfy your lycanthropic needs. They also have Portland-made toys and other various things for your pets!
Everything Else
Look, we're not suggesting you grow marijuana in our house, but if you need some grow lights or special soil, Home Grown is for you. Sometimes they're even open when they say they'll be!
Homegrown Garden Supply
7112 Northeast Glisan StreetLook, we're not suggesting you grow marijuana in our house, but if you need some grow lights or special soil, Home Grown is for you. Sometimes they're even open when they say they'll be!
Did you ride your horse to our house? Of course you did, you intrepid cowboy. Cowgirl. Cowtransgendered person. Look, it's Portland, we have to address all genders. Anyway, they sell horse stuff.
Glisan Street Saddlery
7817 Northeast Glisan StreetDid you ride your horse to our house? Of course you did, you intrepid cowboy. Cowgirl. Cowtransgendered person. Look, it's Portland, we have to address all genders. Anyway, they sell horse stuff.
THE END IS NIGH! BUY A CUSTOM MADE VAULT BEFORE THE BOMBS DROP! DEBT CEILING! TEA PARTIERS! NUCLEAR FALLOUT! DO YOU NEED A BUCKET?! THEY HAVE BUCKETS! OH GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.
Portland Preparedness Center
7202A Northeast Glisan StreetTHE END IS NIGH! BUY A CUSTOM MADE VAULT BEFORE THE BOMBS DROP! DEBT CEILING! TEA PARTIERS! NUCLEAR FALLOUT! DO YOU NEED A BUCKET?! THEY HAVE BUCKETS! OH GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.
Did you just die? Tough break, kid. Don't worry, Providence Medical Center's morgue is expansive and ready to suit your needs. Please be aware that you'll still need to pay us in the event of a death.
26 personas locales recomiendan
Providence Portland Medical Center
4805 NE Glisan StDid you just die? Tough break, kid. Don't worry, Providence Medical Center's morgue is expansive and ready to suit your needs. Please be aware that you'll still need to pay us in the event of a death.
Look, we all suffer hardships every once and a while. Sometimes we need some geeky seminary student to remind us that Jesus Christ is our lord and savior. If you're into that sort of thing.
Multnomah University
8435 NE Glisan StLook, we all suffer hardships every once and a while. Sometimes we need some geeky seminary student to remind us that Jesus Christ is our lord and savior. If you're into that sort of thing.
A barbershop! A religious barbershop, I think. I've walked by many times. It's small, but if you need a haircut, this is your place.
Kingdom Cuts
7529 Northeast Glisan StreetA barbershop! A religious barbershop, I think. I've walked by many times. It's small, but if you need a haircut, this is your place.
Feminist socialist bookstore! If you're a white male, be prepared to feel awful here. Also if you've seen that sketch in Portlandia with the feminist bookstore -- same thing.
6834 NE Glisan St
6834 Northeast Glisan StreetFeminist socialist bookstore! If you're a white male, be prepared to feel awful here. Also if you've seen that sketch in Portlandia with the feminist bookstore -- same thing.
Let's face it, you're only going to go here if you're a pothead. But if you are, congrats, it's a clean place with friendly staff, even if they forget your name.
322 SE 82nd Ave
322 Southeast 82nd AvenueLet's face it, you're only going to go here if you're a pothead. But if you are, congrats, it's a clean place with friendly staff, even if they forget your name.
Second run movies and beer, what more could you ask for? Sometimes they play the classics, too, like Wayne's World. Is Wayne's World a "classic" yet? Someone get on that, that move is the best.
159 personas locales recomiendan
Academy Theater
7818 SE Stark StSecond run movies and beer, what more could you ask for? Sometimes they play the classics, too, like Wayne's World. Is Wayne's World a "classic" yet? Someone get on that, that move is the best.
A small cocktail lounge, perfect for you hoity-toity ne'er-do-wells. The servers dress like they're from a 1920s band. One guy had a shirt and vest. A SHIRT AND VEST, people. Also they have absinthe.
Vintage Cocktail Lounge
7907 Southeast Stark StreetA small cocktail lounge, perfect for you hoity-toity ne'er-do-wells. The servers dress like they're from a 1920s band. One guy had a shirt and vest. A SHIRT AND VEST, people. Also they have absinthe.
Tub and Tan is awesome. Nothing like stepping into a freshly sanitized hot tub with you and twelve of your closest strangers. Maybe you make some new friends, maybe you make some new STDs, who knows.
6 personas locales recomiendan
Portland Tub & Tan
8028 SE Stark StTub and Tan is awesome. Nothing like stepping into a freshly sanitized hot tub with you and twelve of your closest strangers. Maybe you make some new friends, maybe you make some new STDs, who knows.
Yoga! Chiropractor! Acupuncture! Massage! Zumba! Do you guys do Zumba? Everyone who's cool does Zumba. They have it all, and a naturopathic doctor to boot. Seriously, great staff and fun place!
Montavilla Wellness Center
7817 Southeast Stark StreetYoga! Chiropractor! Acupuncture! Massage! Zumba! Do you guys do Zumba? Everyone who's cool does Zumba. They have it all, and a naturopathic doctor to boot. Seriously, great staff and fun place!
Drinks & Nightlife
Laurelthirst is great because it's a bar not close to any other bars. It's small and always has music playing, even at happy hour. And like all Oregon bars, it has food, too. I can't joke about that.
65 personas locales recomiendan
Laurelthirst Public House
2958 NE Glisan StLaurelthirst is great because it's a bar not close to any other bars. It's small and always has music playing, even at happy hour. And like all Oregon bars, it has food, too. I can't joke about that.
Sweet delicious beer. Have you ever done me wrong? Oh, plenty of times. But I keep coming back to you, because otherwise I'd be "that guy" at the party. You know, the one who's never touched a boob.
Hour Glass Pub & Eatery
7401 NE Glisan StSweet delicious beer. Have you ever done me wrong? Oh, plenty of times. But I keep coming back to you, because otherwise I'd be "that guy" at the party. You know, the one who's never touched a boob.
An Irish themed bar down the street, Biddy's is nice because they have poker tournaments. Maybe you know that because you're a professional poker player, in which case, why are you staying with us?
33 personas locales recomiendan
The O'Neill Public House
6000 Northeast Glisan StreetAn Irish themed bar down the street, Biddy's is nice because they have poker tournaments. Maybe you know that because you're a professional poker player, in which case, why are you staying with us?
Grass fed organic happy hour burgers! It's a sports bar with greasy delicious food and a great dive bar atmosphere, but without the creepy old guy in the trenchcoat. You know who I'm talking about.
12 personas locales recomiendan
Thatchers
7906 SE Stark StGrass fed organic happy hour burgers! It's a sports bar with greasy delicious food and a great dive bar atmosphere, but without the creepy old guy in the trenchcoat. You know who I'm talking about.
East Burn is just a great restaurant/bar. They have fancy swinging chairs and game stuff in the basement, and chalkboard bathrooms. Plus their burgers are excellent. Can you tell I love burgers?
35 personas locales recomiendan
The Eastburn Public House
1800 E Burnside StEast Burn is just a great restaurant/bar. They have fancy swinging chairs and game stuff in the basement, and chalkboard bathrooms. Plus their burgers are excellent. Can you tell I love burgers?