Lea & Pat’s guidebook

Much like traveling to a foreign country, Hawaii has a culture of its own that can be very different from the mainland. Follow these guidelines to ensure that you get the most authentic Hawaiian experience (and you’re always invited back). “Mahalo for removing your slippah’s, but no take mo bettah ones when you leave” - take off your shoes when entering someone’s home Defer to the locals - They were here first, and deserve the respect. No negotiations, please. And keep an eye out for stink eye (translates to: “You are infringing on my birthright, it would be best if you leave immediately). If you’re out catching waves, you’re always the last in line. Respect the Ocean - This one is SERIOUS! Never turn your back to waves. Wet rocks = waves coming soon! Don’t walk on the coral. Sleeper waves are a real thing, and currents get stronger at night. Basically, treat the ocean with awe, respect and a little fear. Take care of the animals - While I know you want to ride a dolphin, or surf a turtle, keep a respectful distance (you’re not Nemo). Look but don’t touch. Aloha - The word means love and hello (and so much more). When greeting people, show love by avoiding handshakes. A kiss on the cheek, or a bro-hug is a customary greeting. Is everyone related? - One way to show respect to your elders is by referring to them as “Auntie” or “Uncle”. This is usually reserved for the 2nd or 3rd meeting, but goes a long way. Flower Bling - If you are presented with a lei, always accept and wear it with gratitude. Never take the lei off in the presence of the person who gave it to you. Drive like a local - Feel like taking in the sights and sounds on a short road trip around the island? Great, but be mindful of local drivers that may get stuck behind your leisurely pace. They seen it already...pull-over. Also, “No Honking, this ain’t the mainland”. Kapu - This can mean sacred, private, but most importantly “KEEP OUT”. Respect all of the MANY sacred historical and religious sites. Never climb on or remove rocks from these areas. Malama Da Aina (“Love and respect the land”) - Help keep Hawaii beautiful and alive. Pack it in - Pack it out. Careful where you go “she-she” (i.e. freshwater ponds). Unless disposed of appropriately, everything ends up in the ocean.

Garons bo barons- for sure AKA “Shoots, bra!” Broke da mouth - Broke the mouth. Absolutely delicious Bumbye: When we get around to it; after a little while. Choke: Meaning "a lot of something"; many; a large amount. Grind: To eat like there's no tomorrow. Haole: A word that used to mean foreigner, but now means a white person or Caucasian. See: Patrick Caenepeel Howzit?: What’s happening? How’s it going? Frequently used informally by the locals in place of "Aloha". K'Den: OK then; Agreed. Kamaaina: A long-time island resident or local. Oftentimes, hotels and airlines will offer special discounts called "Kamaaina Rates" to anyone who can prove their island residency. Kokua: Help or assistance, as in "Your Kokua is needed to keep these islands free of litter. Mahalo!" Lolo Buggah: A stupid or crazy guy. Makai: Toward the sea or seaside. & Mauka: Towards the mountains. Mo’ Bettah: Real good; great idea Moke: Extremely large, local, tough guy. Tita - Usually large, always tough, very local female version of moke Okole: Your butt or rear end. Okole Maluna- Bottoms up Ono: Delicious; delightful or the best; groovy Pau: Finished or done. Pakalolo: Crazy smoke; marijuana Pu pu: An appetizer Slippas: This is also known as a pair of "flip-flops" Lua: Bathroom Wha? Bodda You? Does this bother you? Broke yo face Try. Please “Try wait” Like beef? “Would you like to fight with me?” Mahu. A homosexual Hana hou. - Encore!

Taste the flavors of Hawaii! Here is a guide to our favorites: Poke Poke, Poke, Poke!! I live for this stuff. A hawaiian style sashimi. Go to the fish counter at any grocery store and get Shoyu or Hawaiian style poke. Load cooler with poki, beer, spam musubi and chopsticks. Go beach. Poi The foundation of a good Hawaiian plate, and a taste into Hawaiian history. This purple paste is boiled and mashed taro root. Eat it with your fingers. Spam Musubi Yeah, that’s right SPAM! Nori, sticky rice, and spam. What else do you need. If you’re sticking your nose up at spam, fine more for me. Lau Lau Salty fish and pork wrapped in tender taro leaves and steamed. This is traditional Hawaiian food you shouldn’t miss. Kalua Pork Tender pork, cooked underground in a pit. Salty, shredded, meaty. Think Hawaiian carnitas. Steinlager The official beer of Hawaii, which is strange because it’s from New Zealand. If you really want to fit in with the locals, carry a 12er of this to the beach. Plate Lunch The modern Hawaiian diet consists of three types of carbs and salty meat. Looking for vegetables? No bahdah. Loco Moco This is the king of Hawaiian plate lunch. Two scoops of rice (at least), two hamburger patty’s, two fried eggs, covered in gravy. Seriously. Li /hing Mui Sweet, deliciously sour, strangely addictive (is that MSG?) All your candy, and all your dried fruit will be covered in it, and you will love it. Street fruit Quick Etiquette - If it’s on the street, not hanging from a tree, and obviously not in someone's yard. Then the general rule is the fruit is up for grabs. But use discretion, and have a look-out. Lilikoi - Passionfruit. Easily found on the side of the road. Keep you eye out for yellow easter eggs. Mango - During mango season the entire island smells sickly sweet. During the winter, your best bet is at a fruit stand or at the store. Avocado - We get choke! T’ree times as big as the mainland kine. If you see em on the road, feel free to scoop em up. Star fruit - They look like a star, but their fruit. Duh. Street chicken - you catch ‘um you eat um. Just kidding, try Huli Huli. Coconut - Skip the can, go right to the source. You can pick low hanging fruit and smash em open on rocks. May the best coconut win. Dragon Fruit - Red, spiney on the outside, custardy and white on the inside. Looks like it came from another planet. Banana - Banana’s of all shapes and varieties on Hawaii. Scour the markets for tiny yet flavorful ice-cream or apple variety. Papaya - Mmmmmmmmm. Eat every morning. Best with a squeeze of lime, or filled with lilkoi.

One day only to explore the elusive Hawaii Island. Here is how we’d spend it: Wake up early and fill your cooler with beer and poke at any KTA (you’re gonna need lot’s of ice). Pack you beer gear (snorkel, boogie board, sunscreen, towel) and head to Makalewena beach. You’ll park in a large parking lot, and then trek out over lava rock for about a half a mile. Then, sweaty and tired, you’ll come to a sand dune covered in vines. Welcome to the most beautiful beach on the island. Around 3:00, pack everything up and head to Kona Brew Pub for dinner. If you have time before your plane leaves, grab one last beer and a sunset at the Honakahau Harbor House Restaurant (coldest beer in town and right by the airport).

Two days in Hawaii Nei! Here is how we would spend them: Wake up early and head north. Stop in Waimea at “Hawaiian Style” for breakfast (haupia pancakes, a loco moco are a winning combination). Then continue on to the Waipio Valley Lookout. Totally worth the hike down, and equally normal to hitch-hike back up (pack water and lunch). There’s a black sand beach at the bottom. After your adventure, head to Waimea Guest House for your stay. Unpack and grab a brew and a bite at the Big Island Brewhaus to check out the local scene, drink some tasty brews, and eat some of the best Mexican food on the island (not saying much). Hit the hay, then do “Day 1” the next day.